China Talk Tuesday: Chopsticks

Let's talk about Chopsticks. You know - those little sticks that entire countries try to pass off as legitimate "eating utensils"? Yeah. Those.

When I was a child, we had a small parade of exchange students pass through our house.

There was the lazy, lazy German kid whose parents shipped him to America so they could enjoy a honeymoon by themselves. 2nd marriage for both of them. When his plane ticket got lost in the mail, they INSISTED that my mother had stolen it, and tried to make her buy a new one for him. Word to the wise: Don't mess with my Mama.

There was the Russian princess who left after one night because...I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with my mother's stifling rules. (Join the family for meals, eat at the table and not in your room. You know - harsh stuff.)

There was a sweet girl from Spain who moved into my sister's room for a summer while my sister was away at college, taking pottery classes. (Yes, really - ask Myrnie about it sometime. *grin*)

Then there were two kids from Japan.

There was a girl, and I really don't remember her name. All I remember is that she brought a beautiful two-piece kimono-type outfit, and let my sister and I wear it. I wore the top - it came to my knees! - and my sister wore the skirt, pulled up to her armpits.

And finally, Shoichi. Poor Shoichi. He was a GREAT guy, and we're still friends with him. My parents would trust him to babysit us, and they put up with his quirky habits. (His grandfather had taught him how to do Tabasco shots...and after that, NOTHING could faze those tastebuds. Oh, and beef was a RARE commodity where he grew up, so my mother would often hear the *beep beep beep* of the microwave at 1 in the morning as he fixed himself a steak from the freezer.)

One thing I do remember, though, is that Shoichi taught us how to use chopsticks. I can remember practicing, after he left, with bowls of Chex (sans milk). I would eat the entire bowl with chopsticks, congratulating myself when I could pick up the fragile cereal without crushing it.

My brother had a different way of practicing. He took a set of wooden blunt-tipped chopsticks, and ran them through the electric pencil sharpener. Problem solved! No need to pincer up little pieces of stir-fried beef. Just skewer the suckers! My mother praised his ingenuity...and quietly scurried away to wash the pencil lead residue off of the chopsticks before allowing him to eat his meal.

Which brings us to the ultimate question: What is the right way to use a chopstick?

Lo Gung grew up using chopsticks, so perhaps his way is right?

BBJ surprised us last fall by picking up a pair of chopsticks for the first time, and successfully moving a piece of siu mai from her plate to her mouth. Perhaps her method is right?

Siu Jeun, of course, has his own method - No Chopsticks. Why get a perfectly nice piece of wood dirty, when fingers will do the job just as well?

Finally, we have our friend who was visiting for the day. (You might recognize him...he's one of BBJ's best friends, and just a DOLL.) When he saw that BBJ was pulling a pair of chopsticks out of the drawer to eat her ramen with, he loudly announced that he needed a pair of "choc 'tix", too. (Lo Gung thought he was saying "chocolate", but I knew better as he had already weaseled some chocolate out of me earlier that morning. Everyone knows that "chocolate" is pronounced "chok 'ut"!)

Of all the ways to use chopsticks, I think I like his the best.

PS The official "way" to use chopsticks is this: Hold one chopstick in your dominant hand, just as you would a pencil, resting it on top of your third finger. Now, rest the 2nd chopstick on top of that one, and hold it between your thumb and second finger. The bottom chopstick remains more or less stationary while the top chopstick is moved to "pinch" food. If eating something unpinchable, such as rice, you would position the chopsticks so that they are next to each other and scoop up the rice as if you were using a spoon. In China, it is perfectly acceptable to hold your bowl in your non-dominant hand, and keep it about chest level while you are pinching up your food. Maybe that's why rice is always served in little palm-sized bowls?