Danger in the Chicken Coop

For the past week, BuBu hasn't slept through the night. (I can't keep track of names...so, let's go with the most current version of their nicknames, ok? BuBu is 1, a little girl, and just about as sassy as they come.) First she woke up at 4am for a few days, then midnight for a few days. She doesn't take a nap, most days, and falls asleep between 9 and 9:30pm. Unfortunately for me, I'm a night owl and use post-bedtime-time to rush through chores around the house or things to be done on the computer that require the use of all of my attention. This means, I fall asleep around midnight, get woken up at some point (staying with her between 45 minutes and two hours), and then the alarm goes off at 7:30am so I can get my Kindergartner off to school on time. (My resolve to let him finish the year in the public school system wanes by the day. MAMA NEEDS SLEEP.)

Last night, as we were turning out the lights, I joked to Lo Gung, "I wonder how long I get to sleep before she wakes me up??!" With the prospect of interrupted sleep looming, it took me a while to settle down...but, eventually, I did.

At 4am, I was jolted awake. I lay there, but couldn't hear any crying. Then I heard another noise. A sort of screaming and chuckling sound. I realized several things very quickly. 1) It was my chickens making that noise. 2) It was 4am, and they had no reason to be awake. 3) They only make that noise when in mortal danger.

I jumped out of bed, threw on a sweatshirt and socks, and ran down the stairs. I flipped on the backyard lights and looked out the window. I couldn't see all my chickens, but I could see a large possum in the corner of the run, calmly examining the fence and trying to find a way out.

I ran back to the kitchen to find a flashlight. My children love flashlights so, of course, there were no real flashlights to be found. However, I did find the laser thermometer my father brought over a few months ago. That'll do. Laser gun in hand, I dashed outside, shoved my feet into my filthy pink Crocs, and ran across the deck. I whipped out the laser (thermometer) and...put a tiny dot of red light on the possum's back. He was still sitting in the corner, calmly looking for an exit, oblivious to my red point of hate shining on his backside. I waved it a bit, and the dot landed on the ground next to him. He glanced down, and then noticed me on the deck. He must have sensed my anger, because he turned and waddled back into the chicken coop. By now, I had located all four of my "girls". One was in the run, looking a little crazed, and three were still in the coop.

As the intruder lumbered up the chicken ladder to the upper portion of the coop, where the girls sleep, they were completely oblivious. I saw his glowing eyes appear over their shoulders and hurried into the run, letting the dazed Welsummer out in the process. I grabbed my less-than-bright chickens who were standing inches from the animal who wanted to eat them, threw them to the ground, and quickly shut all the coop doors.

Now, I had a large, lazy, slow possum...trapped in my chicken coop. I returned to the house, found a head lamp, stowed my "deadly weapon", and went back outside. This time, I grabbed a broom. First, I went into the yard to look for the Welsummer. I found her against the gate, waiting for me. I carried her back to the run, and tried to figure out what to do about the animal in the coop. I opened one of the doors that would let him out into the yard, instead of the coop. He didn't take the bait. Apparently, freedom isn't as inviting as a dark wooden box that smells like dinner. I tried banging the side of the coop with the broom. He didn't even flinch. I then carefully eased one of the upper doors open and stuck the broom handle inside, hoping I could encourage him to hop out the open door. He simply looked at me, as if he owned the place, and backed up a half an inch.

Harumph. Insufferable, lethargic, lethal creature!

Finally, I had to admit defeat. The girls were safely locked out of the coop, the possum was locked in, and he had an escape route. I left all the yard lights on, and turned on the chicken run light for good measure. My hope was that, as a nocturnal creature, at 4:30am, he would seek out darker places to hide out.

I went back to bed. (Lo Gung, it should be noted, was wide awake when I got there, and asked me all about the ruckus outside. His decision to not join me in battling for our stupid chickens' lives must be a testament to his confidence in my ability to handle the situation. Yeah. And yes, the chickens really are stupid. Heh.)

After explaining everything to Lo Gung, I laid back down and tried to settle myself for sleep. Eventually, it worked, and I began to dream. I don't remember much of it except the very end. A very large young man, part of a secret group of super heroes, had just given himself his 'super hero shot' that would grant him his super powers to go tackle whatever mission had recently been assigned him. As the medicine kicked in, he grabbed his hammer (now he's Thor?!), and jumped off a bridge. A really high one, apparently. The medicine failed to kick in right away as it was supposed to, and he narrowly missed hitting the tail of a jet in his descent. He then proceeded to land on the windshield of a black sedan, filled with a very surprised Japanese family. All while still falling through the air and still very far from the ground. Just as my mind was struggling to come up with a reason for a perfectly sound sedan to be a mile up in the air, I was jolted awake. Again. This time by a toddler calling my name. It was 6am.

I again grabbed my warm things and disappeared into her room. I wrapped her up in her favorite blanket and stretched out in the chair next to her crib, trying to get both of us back to sleep. I gave up on me sleeping after about 20 minutes, and pulled out my phone. Hey, scripture study done before 7am! This has to be a new record for me. Around 7am, she was still awake, and quietly asked for Daddy. Knowing his alarm would go off soon, I shushed her and shuffled across the hall to our room. I tucked her into the bed between us. She quickly got comfortable, rolling up against me, arm flung around my neck, and face pressed into my nose. (This, incidentally, is why I refuse to co-sleep with the child. Co-sleeping implies that both parties sleep. In our case, the sleep is very one sided..and it isn't on my side.)

By 7:30am, she was asleep. My alarm went off, and I carefully eased out of bed. I woke Siu Jeun (the kindergartner boy) up, went outside to check on the chickens (all four alive and accounted for, and no sign of the possum), and set about cooking Siu Jeun's morning egg.

Then I decided this night's story was one for the blog. Happy Friday, y'all.

PS - The Kindergartner was out the door at 8, I was on the computer to type up my story by 8:10, and BuBu was awake by 8:30, a good hour earlier than normal, and about two hours earlier than I expected to see her after her morning wake time of 6am. Good morning! 

The Latest in Poultry Care Wear

Picture this: The sun has gone down, your backyard flock has gone to bed, but there are still chores to be done! Someone needs to make sure all the coop doors are locked shut, there is food in the feeders, water in the waterers, all the eggs are gathered for the day, and there are the appropriate number of feet and beaks sleeping in the hen house. 

I don't know about you, but I personally only possess two hands. One to hold the flashlight so I can see what I'm doing and don't trip and fall down the stairs, and one to do whatever I can accomplish one-handed. What if I need to move a brick that was blocking a door open? Move a chicken who has forgotten to go home for the night? Carry two types of food into the yard? I need two hands for those jobs. In the past, I have had to relinquish my hold on my light source, with less than stellar results and a dirty flashlight to show for it. 

Well! 

Gone are the days of tucking the flashlight under your arm and hoping for the best. I bring you.....

.....a headlamp! 

Pretty sure it's going to be all the rage. (The headlamp. Not my amazing Muppet impression. Or my fabulous hair. Although, if that style caught on, it would make my life immeasurably simpler...) 

(Picked up a pack of three of these bad boys at Costco tonight, for just $9.99. LED, and takes 3 AAA batteries. Can't beat that! They'd also be great for bike riders, road warrior joggers, and people who like to crawl into dark spaces and use tools to fix things. Those type of people.) 

(On a completely unrelated note, how long do you think I can hide these from the four year old?) 

Chicken Glamour Shots

Last Summer, we brought home a few baby chicks. Then a few more. Then a few died. Then we bought a few more. Then a few turned out to be roosters and had to go.

You get the idea.

All told, we purchased 9 chicks. Of those 9, there are currently 4 hens in my backyard, laying eggs nearly daily. We have been patiently waiting for Chick Season at our local grange so we could expand our flock a little bit. (I think our end goal is to supply my immediate family with healthy, fresh eggs in the summer. That MUST be our goal. I mean, we are getting 2-4 eggs a day, and have plans to expand the flock! My family will probably take eggs, assuming they can get over the weirdness of us harvesting eggs out of the backyard like they harvest tomatoes and beans from their gardens. Only our "harvest" comes with a side of fertilizer a bit fresher than theirs.)

Anyhow, we picked up the first batch of new chicks last week. They are so cute. So, so stinkin' cute. The little brown girl is an Ameraucana, and will lay blue or green eggs. She is our second attempt at an Ameraucana. They last one, Miss Amerauca, turned out to be Mr. 'Merica, with the attitude to go with it. He mauled one of the smaller babies, and tore feathers out of his broodmates if he didn't like the way they were standing. (He ended up in a friend's stewpot. Let THAT be a lesson to you! Nobody wants a mean rooster around, ya know?)

The two little yellow ones have faintly different markings. The one that is pure yellow will end up snow white. She is a White Leghorn. The other will be white with a few grey markings around her neck. She is a Delaware.