How Not to Bake a Cake

(OOOPS! I've never used the Publish Later Feature...and today, of course is the 29th...and this was due yesterday! My apologies.)

So, I joined Daring Bakers. I thought it would give me something to focus on way out here in East Coast Land, far away from almost EVERYONE that I have ever known. (Except you, Kim...hi!)

So, I joined, I was accepted (woohoo!). This involved a lengthy process of sending an e-mail to a few ladies and one of them checking out my baby to see if she was cute enough. (She said she was just verifying my blog address, but I know better. ;-))

Our first recipe was Opera Cake. I had never heard of it before, but it sounded long...not CRAZY difficult...and it seemed like it would fit the bill perfectly.

Ouch.

First off, I had to go shopping at least three times. Once to stock up on sugar and eggs. Another shop to get the chocolate and cream. Then, after I had put out all my ingredients and tools for the first part of the cake...back to the shop for powdered sugar. Not sure how I missed that one...but I only had 1/2 cup of powdered sugar in the house! So, put the baby to bed, and then head out to the store for my $2 worth of powdered sugar. (Seriously, I think the gas was more expensive than the sugar I bought!)

That night I got the cake (joconde) and the syrup pounded out. Let's just say the syrup is the ONLY thing that went right with this dish!

So, when a recipe tells you to fold in egg whites....do it until the egg white clumps are no longer visible. I'm just saying...some people might not know (ahem!) that egg white clumps will not melt back into the batter when you cook them. But you know, I'm just sayin...

Also, if a recipe directs you to divide the oven into thirds so you can bake two trays at once...make sure the bottom rack is MORE than four inches from the heating element. Again, I'm just saying. 'Cause I'm smart and I know what an oven divided into thirds looks like. (This is the point where my husband started threatening to throw my whole mess out and send me to bed. Seriously, at the end of Saturday, he blamed this cake for RUINING HIS WEEKENED. That is a serious accusation for a little cake!)

So, after perfectly baking my two layers (snort!)I called it a night and went to bed. All I had to do in the morning was make my buttercream and assemble the little beastie.



Hehehehe...someone sure has a sense of humour!

I'm sure, somewhere in the past 26 years, I have boiled a sugar solution...I know I was around my father one night when he decided to make taffy. (We don't speak of this incident anymore...it has since become known as The Time Daddy Gave Himself Second Degree Burns with Huge Gobs of Boiling Sugar.)

The sugar had to get it's sweet little hiney all the way up to 225F. The sugar quite happily dissolved, it even came to a nice gentle boil. It climbed...higher..higher...even higher. Suddenly, at 220, disaster struck. The top of the bubbles no longer...bubbled. It started to sort of crumble. (Note: crumbling is bad in a liquid!) Then it turned golden...then brown...and it still hadn't come to temperature! When it finally came to temperature, I proceeded as directed in the recipe, slowly pouring the hot sugar mixture into my beaten eggs. Little gobs of hard candy began appearing all through my mix! I gave up, threw it all out, and started again. I vowed to be careful this time. I rinsed my pot. I rinsed my thermometer. I rinsed everything. I got out a little pastry brush and washed down the sides of my pot while the sugar was dissolving. I washed down the sides while it slowly bubbled and climbed higher. Everything was looking great.

Until 220. That was the point where, in about 22 seconds, the entire pot turned back into sugar crystals.



It's interesting to note that, online, I found dozens of recipes for buttercream and not one of them called for eggs OR boiling sugar. I'm sure it would have been tasty, but butter, vanilla and powdered sugar is safer and easier! (Sorry, DB gurus...you did say I could substitute my favorite buttercream recipe! And I tried...I REALLY REALLY tried. But, like I said, at this point the buttercream was beginning to affect my marriage...and I chose my sweetie over your sweets. ;-))

The rest of the building of the cake went off without a hitch. Granted, it's a little hard to build a cake when one of your layers is paperthing in spots...because one, maybe, possibly...had to cut half the cake off. (Only the half that was kohl black!)

I built it, I chilled it, I served it. The guys all had seconds, the girls all said "mmm!" and ate around my sickly-sweet buttercream mess. We had a fun party with 6 adults, and even more kids. We ate a potluck dinner and then ate the cake. Everyone was appreciative. One even commented it would make a great wedding cake! (Have you ever seen a wedding cake that would only serve 20 people? Yeah, me neither.)




Thus ends the great Oper Cake Debacle of 2008, may it rest in peace. I hope next month isn't so hard, but I'm proud of myself for completing this first challenge.